I’m convinced that the Fates have me square in their crosshairs, dead to rights.
To say working on ‘Outcast’ has been a struggle for the longest time is a drastic understatement, and part of it is this seemingly comedic string of bad things that seem to happen not long after I”ve recorded and posted an episode. From a $5000 car repair bill to my dad dying, to my current situation…it feels like someone or something doesn’t want me to finish this project.
Things, however, have really…and I mean really…come to a head. I wasn’t really aware of how much stress I’ve been under this past little while, and it’s beginning to show. Work, home, and everything else in my life has become this giant ball of anxiety for me, and to be honest how I haven’t dropped dead from a heart attack has amazed everyone, especially my wife.
To that end, I’ve actually started into counselling to try and deal with a lot of the issues with which I’m faced. It’s a little embarassing to admit that I might have a problem, but I also know that acknowledging that something’s wrong is the first step to fixing it. I can only hope and pray that going this route will bring me some sense of peace at some point.
Again, I want to thank all of you for your patience, your feedback, and continued support for the book. I’m not fading out or anything like that; I just wanted to finally admit to all of you one of the darker reasons I’ve been so sporatic with my posting schedule. I’ve been denying that there’s something wrong with me for a long time, and now it’s finally reared up and taken a large chunk out of my life…one I have to fight like hell to get back now.
Unfortunately, what this means is that the posting schedule will be about as spotty as it is now, but it will continue. Heh…like the song says: Never Surrender…I’ll never be overcome (Disturbed: ‘The Curse). I know I have one hell of a battle ahead of me, but I know it’s one I can win.
I just have to fight it now…