Ok, so yet another long time in between posts. I’m hoping that with this entry the frequency of posts here will increase substantially.
So, for those of you who’ve been following this little roller-coaster I call a life, you know that I’ve been going through the beginnings of a divorce, and for the past few months I’ve been living with family members. It’s been tough to live like that, especially after 10+ years of your life being a certain way. It was difficult trying to keep myself focused on things, as I was constantly bombarded with the after-effects of basically being kicked out of my home, dealing with loose ends, late bills (stuff I actually owed), and keeping up a strong work ethic at my job.
Well, I’m happy to say that things are finally settling down for me. On August 1st I drove up to my former home with a truck, loaded all my things into it and drove to my new place. Ok, so it took about 4 trips to get the majority of my stuff from one place to another, but the fact remains that now I’m 99% moved out of my old place. I say 99% because there are a few things we still need to deal with. It’ll come with time, and we’re both being as civil as we can about it. Thankfully there are no kids involved, and my new place doesn’t allow pets. Custody won’t be a problem.
One thing I have noticed, though, is something that I wasn’t able to really put my finger on until last night. See, I was goofing around in SecondLife and I was constantly having to tell myself ‘You don’t have to be anywhere…just relax. There’s nothing for you to do except sit here and enjoy yourself.’ I think one of my biggest problems as of late has been this feeling of constantly being rushed. You know; switch to a window, write/play for 2 minutes, then switch to something else…as if you’re trying to hide from the world what you’re doing. Doing that at work I can understand. Not too many supervisors feel comfortable with you taking a minute to relax your brain before diving headlong back into your work.
But when you get that feeling at home…it’s time to take a BIG step back.
I was on SL for over 3 hours straight, and only got up to refill my water. Other than that, I was focused on chatting with friends, listening to some great music, and just being there. It’s something I haven’t felt in a long time…relaxed…completely and utterly relaxed. I was actually able to lose myself in what I was doing, and didn’t come up for air until nearly midnight (which explains why I’m do dog-tired right now 😛 )
As I learn to relax more, I’m sure it’ll be reflected in my writing/podcasting. No longer bound by any real pressure, I’ll be able to open the floodgates of my imagination and finally turn that diminished spark of inspiration into the raging bonfire it used to be. Ok, that sounds hokey, but it’s true. I mean hey, the length of this blog post should tell you something about my recovery.
Anyway, with any luck the next episode will be up soon.